3 at a time

its been awhile but my Dad met me in my dreams last night, but not in his ordinary fashion. considering my “worst behavior” as of late, i think it was appropriate. i was picking up weed somewhere and while i was waiting around, my dad with his stern but not angry look walks in. right then i already knew i was in trouble, so we both left the place. while walking to our own cars, i see him smoking. such a weird and ironic dream! part of me thinks he’s telling me to stop partying, doing drugs, and being wreckless. i mean, i did just come back from Miami and i’ve had my share of super hangovers to be concerned for my liver. but why weed? i don’t smoke that shit often. and why was he smoking? is it a connection to his lung cancer? i don’t know but as long as i get to see him, i’m happy with any scenario.

to top it off, my sister Jane and her best friend Nini also had a dream of him last night. what a busy guy.

“Dad was with me. He hugged me and said he’s doing okay. [He] misses us. I miss him.” -Jane

“The location was either your family party or it felt like Jane’s wedding reception. It was like tunnel vision and I was mostly with you and your sisters. Your dad was present the whole time but [he] didn’t say anything. No one interacted with him. But it seemed like you girls knew he was there. He was more observing. Just looking at you girls. You guys were mingling, eating, and drinking. Then at the end I finally noticed it was your dad, the realization, and he just looked at me and gave me a face like he was happy and proud at what he saw, like he’s still present and he knows everything that’s going on face. So I gave him a smile and a nod back and then I hugged him.” -Stephanie C.

i also had another moment at school. i was reviewing my test answers and Mrs. C (one of the administrative assistants, very sweet lady, but you have to stay on her good side) said to me, “Why do you need to look over your tests. You did so good. You know, I’m really proud of you.” I don’t expect the faculty to give me special attention because of my circumstance, so this caught me off guard. I stared at Mrs. C shyly and all i could see was my Dad speaking to me. between my dad and mom, my dad always checked in with me. he would always call, text, Facetime me to see how i was doing. those words just broke me down and i couldn’t help but leave school crying.

i miss you so much and i hate how fast time is flying without you.

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