so i told myself that there is no way i could keep up with any kind of blog anymore. but this is something i must mention and forever keep with me in times where i’m just way ahead of myself.
so i was listening to Yuna’s Coffee song while studying and she began to sing “just sipping coffee and nothing to look forward to, savoring my solitude”. this immediately struck me and took me back to Costa Rica and my moments of bliss. one moment that is constantly repeating in my head is our last major beach day. we met a few locals and we trusted them to take my friends and i to a less crowded beach. windows down, reggae bumping, breeze through my hair, i couldn’t contain my excitement. i daydreamed months before of having a bonfire and of course they promised us one. driving straight to the sands, waters waiting for me, i consumed myself in the ocean. even more, we walked to the outer rocks to watch another beautiful Costa Rican sunset and to see the beauty and intensity of waves crashing on rocks. it was a sight to see and remember, but the night awaited us. with spirits in hand and a high so high, the bonfire blazed with thoughts of life leaving my mind. this is not a post about my personal hardships, but to put things in context, it was a moment of awakening, realization, and acceptance, all at the same time. conversations flowed and an outsider would believe this was an occasion for pursuing and spring flings, but that was far from what was going through my mind. in an instant i found myself in the black night, running free and jumping into the waves. alone i looked upon the bright stars and thought to myself “damn, this is phenomenal”. in due time, my local friend joined me and insisted we swim under the waves as surfers do. with his guidance, we did just that and it was scary. scary in that i was holding my breath, diving into the unknown, coming up afraid to meet the unexpected. but with his reassurance, we kept at it and the scary turned to my personal lesson. despite the unknown, taking each wave as it comes, diving in with deep breaths, you will make it to the next. how powerful and uplifting. to brighten up the night even more, i came to notice the glowing dinoflagellates. i once saw these in Puerto Rico but these came out of the blue. i showed my friend and her happiness to find them was pure joy. oh the little things in life. back at the fire, i requested salsa music and the night tapered off with authentic dance lessons.
everything about this night was in the moment. i had nothing to look forward to, and there wasn’t a time i found my mind wandering. it was where it needed to be and it freed me from all stress and worries. i am reminded that when you forget to be present in the moment, and think about the endless possibilities that is the future, you lose your peace, solitude, and freedom. you are trapped in your mind and you have no sense of honest feeling. i am so happy that i learned that lesson. i will no doubt go back to old ways of preparing and planning, but to know i had that one moment to myself is something i will cherish forever. it was bliss and all i needed was just me, myself, and i, and the world’s offerings.